..im turning 20 tmrw...i feel a bit old...

welps workin has been good, doin me good, life good, school good and omgsh...someONE tried X and I can not believe it...last person Iwould think i mean damm i never tried it but hey, its like some ppl gotta experience things i Guess....

hmm I just got an extra 3 months at my gym cuz I know ppl lol...and I can go in Irving if i wanted too well take a friend but I can basically go to ne of the gyms in Texas, badass huh haha and hmmm i dk

I plan on getting peircings cuz its been awhile, maybe my labret again...and I want my industrial...I dk what im getting but Its been awhile. Just ate cajun corner today and damm that shit was Oh So GoOd. as for the hookups on food Im still getting them--gotta stop if I wanna lose weight haha

 welps dont know what im doing tmrw gotta plan crap and im bout to study reflexology hahaha yay!!

Reflexology is a wellbeing program where it teaches all the nerves in the foot hand n head to help like asthma, heart disesase, immune system but basically I wanna learn to do that to help myself and loved ones..its pretty interesting.

 I dont know what it is, but I always need to learn new things and do new things...Its hard for me to stay at one job for awhile or is it I give up and quit when the going gets tough? I dont know but hey, i guess i got alot of interests....Im collecting the friends dvd sets now I got the first and final haha but yeah collections make me happy. well ANY collection of like foodrecipes,books,dvds, etc.  I cant wait till my sis sees what I got her and I L.O.V.E  her n nam's gift its like a bed with drawers w/bookcase aka "Captain's bed" call me Miss Sailor LOL. neways I realized about 2 months ago I have a smelling fetish haha and that goes with anything..werid huh neways

thats my life for now...update what happened on my bday lata

Yeah so life has been quite crazy for me! [well it pretty much always is]

New job, reuniting with a best friend and a very very good friend i known for + years and so much more...me n my nissa have been thru so much shit eva since i got her, i cant tell ya wat her name is cuz shes mine biAtcH! =D haha nehow I been quite lucky this past year or two...coulda died a couple times and just all the obstacles and hardships especially ever since after thanksgiving....VERY FEW know what I mean ..... but I guess I believe God has a reason for me to live now and what that is....I dont know...but even though I had alot of rough shit going on I feel relieved...that all tha fucked up things dont really matter to me anymore and Im happy to spend my time at home and tha fam n schoo and work and my few good REaL friends. This year started rough but its gettin much betta.

Okay today was awesome day at work!

Got the hookup in tha dallascowboy pro shop two keychains...one for me and my sis with our names on it! each worth 5 bucks each fuckin ridiculous

HOookup on a chix ceaser wrap and double chocolate fudge pound cake...sunglasses...=)

and discount on mcdonalds chicken nuggets and gyeah whatever last wweek has been rough and i just want this week to be over last week i had 3 tests...Yeah two on thurs and one on fri..yeah it sucked ....and coming up... my lab practical test on Tuesday and my final in Texas Govt!! fuck yeah its almost over Springmesters are just alot of work with actual working and my 2 science classes but that work payed off im gettin an A and I fuckin deserve that bitch I had to work ALOT this weekend could ya get 30 hours on the weekend?? yeah its a biOtch and i worked alot last week too shit.....especially with all the test i get like every otha week and that dirt storm dont get me started...haha and im not welps hopes everyones year is going GREAT later yall  i know yall read my shit so comment if ya know how to type

SO alot of things have been going on in my life, Im going to transfer to some university hopefully in the fall, in a way I want to move because Arlington just has so many memories for meand its hard to forget or move on at times.

I use to didnt love playing cards much but lately I have been having fun with cards and Texas HOld em'. After a round I remmebered Me and my little bro Travis's books are overdue!! oH no! so we go there with our other bro THomas and as we come back I switch to the oldies station and it has a song that sounded familair...then I went back after pressing all the buttons as I usually go on about everytime in the car...and aww I havent heard this song In FOREVER LIKE YEARS AND YEARS and it reminded me of how much I gave my heart and just having the capibility to love so much...many people say that they love someone, but do they really? When I love someone, I love them despite their imperfections, I might not mention it when I notice it, but really it doesnt bother me cause to me, love is loving someone despite their imperfections and seeing them so close to being perfect haha if that makes any sense, I suppose I love too much, I hope there is enough loving left in me cause Im getting pretty tired and I hope I will always be able to love with my all even though it hurts real bad in the end sometimes but maybe one day it wont....and though I tend to try to keep my imperfections away from bay, I know some ppl see it or know it, Very few do tho....What Im really trying to say is even though I can accept someone else's imperfections I wonder if someone can Love me despite of all that, and would be able to love me with their all, like I would for them no doubt =/.. yeah, im scared but that never stopped me from putting myself all out there...

anyways here is the song that made me start of thinking of the past...and the love hardships. Love: sucha hard thing to obtain in return.

Musiq Soulchild - Dontchange Lyrics
[Verse 1]
Lately you've been questioning
If I still see you the same way
We gonna both physically change
Now don't you know you you'll always be
The most beautiful woman I know
So let me reassure you darlin that
My feelings are truly unconditional

[Chorus]
See I'll love you when your hair turns gray
I'll still want you if you gain a little weight
The way I feel for you will always be the same
Just as long as your love don't change, No

I was meant for you and you was meant for me yeah
And I'll make sure that I'll be everything you need
Girl the way we are is how its gonna be
Just as long as your love don't change

[Verse 2]
Cause I'm not impressed, more or less
By them girls in the T.V and magazines
Cause honestly I believe that your beauty
Is way more than skin deep
Cause everything about you makes me feel
I have the greatest gift in the world
And even when you get on my last nerve
I couldn't see myself being with another girl

[Chorus]

[Bridge]
So don't waste your time worrying bout
Small things ain't relevant to me
Cause to my understanding your all I want and need
See what I'm trying to say is I'm here to stay
Baby, baby darling I swear that I,
I swear I ain't going nowhere no.

[Vamp]
You are my baby
Don't you change baby
I love you, got to know,
Yeah, yeah

-_- ..

I been listening to old songs i use to listen too a few years ago, and it makes me think...was it because I listened to them I had so much hope for the relationship I was in....or was it my stupid heart.

Ehh it could be both. It reminds me of what I use to feel at the moment when I would listen here and just reminsice.

SO let me get this straight...you dont give it your everything unless they your married to them?? I must be an idiot for trying to treat relationship as if it was special.

I might work at this sushi restraunt opening on cooper as a waitress, its not final but they want to have fulltime ppl hired first and then part time since im doing school fulltime. I wish I didnt have to work but shit you know how that is.

Other than that, Im on a working out phase again.haha this time basketball is an added sport im playing. I cut myself with my long fingernail it made me bleed!haha neways,  for new years i went to Oklahoma and u know what ppl 18 and older go to do over there that they cant do unless there 21 in other places! hahahahaha i went swiming too and it felt soOOoo good, I miss having access to a pool everyday but ehh whatever maybe ill join swimming class one day hahaha i dont know!

neways I guess life is overall good ...i love my REAL FRIENDS

......

today wasnt cool....someone said some mean ass things i never thought i would hear this person say. and  i took a shot cause Im not smoking anymore.

yhup and now that I think about it, I dont even know why I trip over somethings....is it worth it?

im tired... today was unexpectedly the worst day I've had in a long time.

lot to say but feel like keeping everything to myself =X